I like to run. It connects me to my body and to the world around me, It takes me away from thoughts of what was or what might be about to happen. The past and the future sit alongside the present. Running is like meditation. I use the rhythm of my breathing and my feet on the ground as a metronome. Thoughts come in and leave; the awareness of a pain in my left knee comes and then goes, the burning in my thighs is there for a short while, then disappears. I breathe in to a count of four and breathe out to a count of four, sometimes breathing out to a count of six, but the pattern is always in a set of two. My left foot and right foot hit the ground to secure the pattern. Two breaths, two feet. Moving. Working. After a minute or two of running, when my feet and breath are in the same pattern, I can let my mind go and feel the rhythm through my body. My mind is free to wander. It goes off into thoughts and comes back to the rhythm, sometimes slowly and sometimes with a sudden awareness. I think about my day, but the images disappear, I think about yesterday and that drifts away too. I empty my mind and become aware of the sun in my eyes as it appears and disappears through holes in the trees. I feel the wind blowing at my hat and the sweat and heat on my back and arms. I run past and around dogs, puddles and other people out walking and running. I start to feel the strength in my body, muscles contracting harder as I run up a longer, steady incline on the way back, no pain, just strength. As I run, images and words appear in my mind, layers that I work my way through. Ideas about painting arise. I wonder if they have the space to be heard at other times. I think about some non-essential items I need to buy at the shop. I try to remember the list while out running and it becomes part of the rhythm. I add green veg to create a set of four breaths and although I don’t need it, I commit to it, knowing it won’t be wasted. I drift in and out of remembering this list, thinking other thoughts in between. At one point I forget it. Four items. Tiredness, stress, the wind, getting older every second, dog distractions, festive overindulgence, pre-menstrual fog maybe, but its impossible to pin down. I try not to worry about that and keep running.
Blank Canvas 